khronikle

couldn't avoid the topic -- the more you try to avoid it, the easier it gets into your sight. having read about an article about our torch guards on the timesonline(http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article3671368.ece), the rantings of so many archaic views astounds me. i find this article to be biased and one-sided, calling these guards as "thugs", without evidence, when clearly they were only doing their jobs -- if you happen to have watched the relay on bbcn24 you would know that, throughout the course, the "men-in-blue" did not manhandle any protestors, rather, all physical actions were taken by london bobbies.

having lived in this country for almost 7 years, i had certain confidence that the brit media would at least keep it's hornesty and integrity towards international affairs --well thank fuck for proving me wrong. after a protester tried to snatch the torch away from a disabled chinese female bearer on a wheelchair under the "protection" of 3000+ parisian policemen and women, how come adding necessary security meassurement from the chinese side is deemed to be "thuggery"? and shame on you coe for using this word! your deeply rooted racism saddens me. i'm sure when you're dragging the torch in 2012 your superior knowledge of freedom and liberty will make all the bites and punches of anti-iraq-war-protesters' feel like gentle breezes -- and good luck without any guards.

i am also appalled at the hypocrisy here: the uk have both directly, and indirectly via support of the us, tortured, maimed and murdered tens of thousands of afghanistan and iraqi civilians during the last few years. so how can you brits complain to china about human rights violations in tibet when you are one of the world's worst abusers. people scream human rights abuses and "free tibet" but such attitudes would thus eliminate most western countries from being able to host the game as well (been mentioned but think the war and/or western countries using cheap labor in china to produce goods in order to meet western demand). whilst i see the torch relay as an opportunity to highlight humanitarian issues i do not agree with the olympics being hijacked by political agendas and i find it fucking necessary to protect the olympic flame from violent protestors determined to hijack what should be a celebratory event.

what most people fail to realise is that protests will change absolutely fuck-all about the tibet situation. if anything, it further highlights the ignorance of many who think they can "make the world a better place" with their ideals. i'm surprised that many have already forgotten about the lessons learnt in recent history, when trying to get involved with other people's affairs and forcing your ideals onto other countries. yes, thanks to you, we now live in a world full of fear, animosity and deepening divisions that are only going to get worse before they get better. before you've even managed to clean up the mess you've made, you're now jumping onto the newest bandwagon "free tibet", which many people have suddenly taken upon themselves, because it's just as popular as the "free iraq" or the "free afghanistan" use to be, which before I forget, must say was a resounding success on your part.

mine, yours, or anybody else's opinions don't matter. why? because china is not going to roll over and play dead, even john smith from cambridge uni who read a paragraph off some article and then thought it gives the right to judge right or wrong. this whole farce only demonstrates how easily manipulated some people can be, as dalai himself steps back into the dark and watches.

peace.

just received this clip from a friend on facebook. it's a call record between becky, an 8-year-old irish school-goer who dislikes her school/teachers, and a local demonlition company - you should've guessed what's she's proposing here - priceless!

 

"can you make sure all my teachers are in there when you knock it down?"

"nah i don't think i can get away with it, no."

"ah you will, nobody likes them! they give me extra homework on a friday and everything."

"where're you calling from?"

"from dublin."

"what school in dublin?"

"the one that's about to fall down!"

 

god i can listen to this all day.

it's been three years since last time i went home. today it all seems a bit like a deja vu, the only difference is the sky i see - i mean, fucking hell, can it be any worse?

 

ok from the top.

 

lufthansa is a recommended airline. i'd happily choose it again if can be better seated next time (dunno was it because i sat too close to the window or the air con has gone mad, half way through i felt my face's getting numb and had a strong urge to throw up on the innocent-looking person sat next to me. it was so cold that i was wrapping my head using the sheet provided by the airline, which was generously wafer-thin. flight duration was 9 hours, not bad. catering-wise, it's more standard stuff but because it is easter, i was given two cute little chocolate bunnies. dunno why, when eating animal-shaped foods, i'd always start from their heads (evilly grin). oh and the flight attendants, they are so professionally trained, no, wait, "thoroghly trained" is the right phrase - i bet they had smile training sessions during which these girls had to perfect their smiles in front of a mirror.

 

the shock came when the plane was about to land where people all over the world will soon have their eyes fixed on. three years ago the sky over beijing wasn't perfectly clear, but at least it didn't look like now - dull, grey, depressive, bleach, SAD. just thinking about those tourists and athelets flew all the way to beijing, where the pollution is abeyond the city's historical high, makes me feel so very very bad.

 

 

now take a look outside. and no it's not just this particular area that looks like this, it was like so all the way from the airport.

 

 

gebrselassie runs marathons - he challenges human endeavour at its max. but even an iron man like him has to give in when facing such fearsome toxic air condition. an olympic champ rather gives away his potential medals and waits for another four years, that ought to be something to think about.

Two weeks ago, before it happened, I had an odd feeling of losing someone - a strange urge to look up Allan Poe's "Raven" (posted it on the 19th). I am no literature enthusiast, nor would I be suddenly caught up by such sorrowful words, but the phrase "Nevermore" stuck in my mind for days. 

 

I often wondered what was in that little head of hers. I guess puppies demand less in their considerably short lives - perhaps a caring family, a good meal, and a care-free run on the dirty grass - that's all they need to be happy. She was a beloved member of our family, for that, I guess she was happy.

 

Each night when I finished work, weary and exhausted, upon the doorway I could always hear her little paws scatching on the door, as if she waited me for years, and could not spare the next minute but opening the door for me. She knew the sound of her belt. We used to tease her with that slight tinkle just to see how excited she could get. She used to be the only companion of Maggie during all those cold winter nights - no matter how late, Maggie told me, she always woke up and followed Maggie everywhere in the house. Her joys and often exaggerated excitements were the only things we know.  Though she was quite poorly before,  she couldn't and wouldn't complaint about her pain. 

 

We all know it evetually comes to a time when you outlive your pet, but when the time comes, the gut-wrenching feeling doesn't seem to get lighter to bear. I feel terrible not being with her during her last moments. I wonder what's in her mind at the time. I hope it was all her needed - a caring family, a good meal, and a care-free run on the dirty grass. At least she feels pain no more.

 

 

 

 

      

 

 

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as `Nevermore.'

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the bird said, `Nevermore.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never-nevermore."'

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!

 

 

 You are one of the most talented young actors in today's Hollywood landscape.

Rest in peace.

In response to the global equity market decline, the Federal Reserve has decided to act immediately rather than waiting for a scheduled meeting in the forthcoming week. A cut of 75bp in the Fed funds rate was the first time since 1984 that the US central bank had acted so aggressively. This aggressive move represents an urgent effort by the Fed to simply "stay ahead of the market". In the early afternoon trading, the announcement has resulted in a sharp "V" turn in the FTSE100 index, temporarily restoring the plummeting figures by over 100 points. FTSE100 closed at 5740 which is nearly 3% gain compared to the previous closing point.

 

Though it seems to have somewhat eased the tension within the equity market, the rather drastic action taken by the Fed is somehow questionable. With the next presidential election emerging on the horizon, America, the world's strongest economic entity has responded negatively towards Bush's solution to tackle current financial turmoil. Will cutting interest rate help healing the troubled market or adding salt on the already opened wound? This move has become another huge economic gamble after the Bush administration had raged war against Iraq. Let's take a look at two possibilities here. One, if it really works, then it becomes a question of how long it can aid the economy before market confidence is restored. Also, will more easy credit be the final the solution of this problem, especially when the probem itself is ironically caused by easy credits in the past? Two, if it doesn't work, then the result would further dent the already damaged market confidence and exacerbate things to an entire different level, meaning if the world's most powerful financial institution backed by the strongest economy cannot resolve current crisis, its reaction to this matter will no longer be an action that is taken "in a timely manner", but a rather desperate move to temporarily satisfy bearish market. In short, what confidence would the investors have left, if they perceive the Fed as being powerless against a possible economic recession? The Fed's intervention is inevitable, but this just smacks of premature. If this emergency plan works out for temporary recession, Bush administration should focus on the housing and credit crisis. Re-structuring current credit legislation would be step one.

 

Some argue that this is not a global crisis -- it is an American crisis at the most. But clearly the impact of the US sub-prime morgage crisis has reached the UK. Its effects were already shown by the sales performance of the retail industry during Christmas last year. I was surprised by how many stock most of the high street retailers have left for clearance today, as I was walking in downtown Bath. It seems to me that people are stretching to the limit here. With energy prices up by 15% at the beginning of this year, retailing, financing (the whole country's eyes are fixed upon the bidding of Northen Rock and its possible nationalisation -- the recovery of public confidence dented last year depends on the level and extend of national aid), and housing are likely to face possible decline. If the UK government would respond to such event by lowing the interest rate like the Americans did, the whole country would generate less tax for re-investing back into the community, pension funds, education, and policing ect. Unemployment rate and crime would likely to increase.

 

Unless there is a market stimulant that would catalyse the economy positively, the scenarios mentioned above would carry us into 2009.

 

I'm not sure to what extend will the Olympic games benefit China's economy, but the stock market seems fragile considering it has seen dramatic losses under the influence of this western shockwave. Not to mention the investor confidence in the China market is largely based upon potentials and predictions of the ongoing economic rally, rather than solid and reliable foundations.

 

For people like me who wants to get into the finance industry, this is going to be a tough year.

新年之后的第一篇，本想以积极的文字作为开端，但许诺过自己要把收获与问题一同纪录。自我诚实是在自知之外的又一个清醒，看清并且接受事实，避免主观地回避和否认。

收获是失败的经验。经过多次失败，自己的决心反而更加坚定。失败所暴露的问题也很多：太多想法的时候容易分心，太多选择会丧失了一些自由，难以如人所愿。

今天一位法国朋友来访，言谈间提到对工作选择的看法。他认为，人应该做自己喜欢做的事情，基于明了的喜爱倾心，而不是心血来潮或者是受潮流的影响。避免做某些不中意的事从而避免过不中意的生活——这样的选择经历的是生活本身。

可是在我看来，这样的选择是种换来的特权。对我而言，自我要求完全可以超越对生活的选择：与其轻轻松松的度过就业的初期，我会毫不犹豫的放弃个人生活，因为自己还没有赢得这种特权。人30岁之前还都还可以冒险，失败了还有余地。过了这个阶段风险就不是一个人承担了。要在30岁之前为自己做些事情，头几年的苦是免不了的。庆幸的的是，现在的心理状态极度欢迎辛苦的工作。因为我知道辛苦的同时对我的补偿就是原始资本的积累。

记得年前读到这么一则消息：一名苏黎世银行的新职员因为不堪压力而辞职。他没有留下正式的辞职书，只群发了一封邮件给他的同事们。信上大致说，“我很抱歉。我不想再做这样的事了，我觉得做一些别人不会做，不能做，甚至不愿意做的杂事对我来说没有任何意义……”信是早上6点钟撰写的，之前他忙碌了一个凌晨只为了打印第二天需要的文件。

遗憾哪，好不容易挤进了这座围城却又轻易放弃。有能力却没有必要的意志力。有幸作为中国人我儿时读过韩信。这又堪比胯下之辱？

最近还遇到一件尴尬事。宝洁的笔试我选了中文试题，直到开卷之前我从来没意识到自己会对母语有问题。然而开卷后硬是有十分钟不知道从哪里入手。苦笑啊，简直是邯郸学步。

太多朋友认为我应该回去了。都说以我的能力回去后工作不难找。我作为仍在这边徘徊的少数派只有一个理由：不甘心。投入太大了。还有，就算是6年邯郸学步，语言终究到了可以交流的层次，我需要它在商业环境里再锤炼，再提高。

好久没写，感觉思路像是一个盒子。要先找到盒子的定点，考虑盒子内的事物为起点才能跳出盒子之外。要去哪里之前，先知道自己在什么地方，这是为了为新的盒子划出底线，这是知道自己和环境局限的前提。

最后顺便提一下最近的一个小项目。灵感来源于一位纽约的业余摄影师。在过去的6年来他每天为自己照一张肖像照，以纪录自己的变化。我认为这是个天才般的主意。过去的大半个月里我有2天完全忘记了，但接下来会坚持得更好。

It is a universal truth that Ben Affleck is a limited actor, although occasionally he could pull off some decent performance if given the right role (e.g. "Good Will Hunting"). I must admit I had my doubts on "Gone Baby Gone" before watching it - not because he was in it, but because he directed it. I was wrong.

 

This film is so emotionally exhausting - it is intense, disturbing, and as bleak as the days before christmas. It depicts the moral dilemma of raising a child in a non-attentive family and asks the question: "Who's morally superior, the people doing what they think is right for the wrong reasons or the people doing what they know to be the wrong thing for the right reasons"?

 

After watching it I couldn't help thinking that not all of us are meant to have kids. Maybe someday there would be laws to decide who is worthy to have children. Why not? We already have licenses to adopt other's children. We even have licenses to hunt other animals. So why not a license to reproduce? Somebody so selfish and lack of parental responsibility would not even be trusted to look after an animal if s/he was in an animal shelter, so just what earns her/him the right to look after a kid? Freedom? Basic human rights? No. Human rights rely on freedom, but freedom ain't free.

 

Go watch it, but don't let it get into you. Now that you know the world is grey - true, but you still have choice to make it colourful, at least for our children's sakes.

 

quentin's new slasher film "death proof" is an absolute tribute to 70-80s exploitation genre. i was stunt by how he manage to put all these 70s' symbols (violence, drugs and booze, stoned teens, car chases, music, stunt man, etc etc) into one fluent motion with retro camera works, raw editings, and no plot whatsoever. the characters are so nicely casted that i think he might just created another potential cult culture. 

 

quentin is so good at jerkign off the mind of his audiences that he continuously draws them in to the moment - the moment they have all been waiting for after all these foreplays - the moment of impact which they are now dying to see - then "BANG!" - in their faces! so brutal. so quick. so dirty. they won't like it - but this is what they asked for, and quentin is the bad santa.

 

now i have never seen "vanishing point" or "bullet" but i reckon the same mustang and charger r/t shot in quentin's version of high speed car chase is probably the best 25 mins in the history of film making. believe me its nothing like the computer-animated fast and furious series, this is the real deal. if you are a bloke, watch it, cos the chicks and cars are smoking hot; and if you are a girl, dont miss it either, cos sisters in this flicker kicks some badass.

 

overall: 10/10

 

here is oen of its sound track - chick habit by april march - which i found it strangely attractive.

 

这两天有两位好朋友回国了。可惜论文缠身没办法去送他们。 

哥们之间都是四年多的交情，两位对我来说不仅是好朋友，是两个兄弟。电话里匆匆道了别，挂了才想起这几年来的好时光。

保重了两位，祝好运！虽然隔的远了，但换了地方不换人。废话不多说了，你我心中有数。

等你们的好消息！

 

                                                                          

 

1 month has passed since i started working at revs. spangdangley.

 

heres a good one from this weekend. 2 girls walked in and asked for 2 glasses of champ. "the cheapest!" they shouted out as i turned to ask the super,  who said no we dont do champ by glass. so i told the girls with a big sorry-that-i-just-ran-over-your-dog face trying to show some sympathy, and they went: "why?" with a squeaky voice like i'd just ran over their precious puppy. "sorry ladies this is a vodka bar and we dont do champ by glass, for stock reasons", i said, as i looked over the massive crowd next to them waiting to get served and tried to calm some of them who started muttering due to lack of alcoholic substance. "but WHY not?" said the girls with greater volume.....speechless.

 

ok, here are some other FACTS surprised me this week. do you know that nicolas cage (yes, THE nicolas cage) has a £4mil property here at Bath? do you know that himself is atcually here enjoying the british summer (well, hope he enjoys). do you know that he went over a pizzaria right next to revs to pick up an order (how odd? wheres his assistant?), and stopped by us to check out what was on for that night? shame that i was tirelessly working my ass off in the very inside of our bar serving some tattooed chavs. at first i didnt buy it. then the story was all checked out by managers, some of the staff, and even the door men. still, i'd rather see it with own eyes.

 

oh, do you also know that johnny depp (again yes, THE johnny depp) also has a house here at the centre of city Bath?

 

here is a tune that caught me recently. its from a commercial for bacardi. killer beats!